Avengers Assemble!

Sorry if I mislead you... This ain't a post about the Avengers film coming out in a couple of years. Don't get me wrong, I'm stoked about it! But there's a wonderful assembly of the world's greatest heroes that have created what I'm already willing to proclaim the best summer blockbuster of 2011. For shits and giggles, we'll call it "Buster of the Year."

That's right kiddos, I'm talking about next summer's "Cowboys vs Aliens." Now, despite it's campy and slightly off-putting title, the movie promises to be an epic action adventure the likes of which we haven't seen since... Well, the newest thing that comes to mind is the original "Jurassic Park."

In this film-for-the-ages, we have the return of legendary (and personal favorite) filmmaker Stephen Speilberg alongside Ron "King of the Gingers" Howard acting as producers to Jon Favreau's (another hero of mine) director. A match made in heaven, no? And on to of all that, the film features two of the world's greates action stars: Daniel Craig (whom I've been told I'm a dead ringer for) and Harrison "Oh-my-freaking-god-it's-Indiana-Jones-should-I-get-his-autograph-no-he's-too-cool-I'd-make-a-fool-of-myself" Ford.

I know, right?

And then we get to see the combination of filming styles from both the Western and Sci-Fi genres that just happen to be the most visually stunning eye candy genres in film? YES!

Go see this. You know you want to. With a cast and crew like that you just can't go wrong. This could even hail the return of the late 80's early 90's adventure films that have disappeared from theaters but have a place in all of our hearts and movie collections.

The Ten Commandments of Cinema

As most of my posts will most likely be gravitating towards movies, movie theatres, soundtracks, and all of that... I'm gonna go ahead and collect my favorite film quotes into a top ten list that we're going to go ahead and call the Ten Commandments of Cinema. And just for fun... We're gonna go ahead and throw in a "Thou shalt" on each one to keep with the theme. (But, unlike the bible, we're going to do this Letterman Countdown style!)

X. Art thou feeling lucky, punk?
(Dirty Harry)

IX. Frankly my dear, thou shalt not give a damn.
(Gone With the Wind)

VIII. Thou shalt make him an offer he shalt not refuse.
(The Godfather)

VII. Thou shalt not call me Shirley.
(Airplane!)

VI. Thou shalt be back.
(Terminator)

V. Nazis. Thou shalt hate those guys.
(Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade)

IV. Thou shalt not cry in baseball.
(A League of Their Own)

III. Thou shalt need a bigger boat.
(Jaws)

II. Roads? Where thou art going, thou shalt not need any roads.
(Back to the Future)

I. Thou shalt yipee-kay-yay mother-f***ers!
(Die Hard)

Amen.

City of Angels

This one is a little off from our normal fare... But I'd like to take this opportunity to point out how incredible the graphics team for the MLB All-Star game did this year. In the past (Or at least the three major ones I can remember...), the logo has focused on and incorporated the architecture of the stadium into its design. This year, the logo is an impressively clever little remix of the Angels team logo. A mash-up if you will. (Did I mention that the game is taking place at the Angels' in Anaheim? Well, it's taking place at Angels Stadium this year.)

The Angels' logo started life as a simple red "A" in a gothic font. Nothing special. In fact, it remains mostly the same today, but there were a few changes in between. In the late 80's and early 90's, the "A" was given a slightly italic look, and the cross-bar was made into a bat and wings and a halo were added. After Disney bought the team, the logo had a brief stint with an incredibly stylized "A" in front of a full baseball diamond and just as fanciful wings before they took it back to the gothic "A" that we all know and love today, with the low-key yet effective addition of a golden halo around it's peak. Incurring one more minor change after Disney sold the company a year and a half ago, the logo's halo changed color from gold to silver, which is the logo we know and love today.

The All-Star logo takes that same "A" and makes it a star. Halo and all. An incredibly simple and incredibly effective logo that doesn't pull any marketing punches with the general public, and still promotes the game effectively while giving the host field and team a gracious tip of the hat. Good work MLB. This ones WAY better than last years gaudy St. Louis logo.

*LOGO PIC UP SOON*

Top 5: Presidents in Film

In honor of our great Nation's Birthday, I've put together a list of the top five most incredible Presidents in cinema for your enjoyment.  Happy 4th-o-July everybody... Celebrate safely!

#5- President James Dale (Jack Nicholson)- Mars Attacks!
Never has a leader remained so calm, cool, and mellow as President James Dale during Tim Burton's imagining of the invasion of earth.  "I want the people to know that they still have 2 out of 3 branches of the government working for them, and that ain't bad."

#4- President Skroob (Mel Brooks)- Spaceballs
I know... I know... He's not an American President.  But he's STILL one of the funniest President's I've ever seen! He may have been a little inept, but at least he didn't make up words like "strategery!" "I can't make decisions! I'm a PRESIDENT!"

#3- President George W. Bush (James Adomien)- Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay
I'm not a proponent of using drugs, but  James Adomien's performance as George W. Bush made us all stop and wonder... Was Bush on drugs? Or would they have, in fact, made him a better President? "Shit, It's Cheney! Come on, you guys, keep quiet!"

#2- President Thomas J. Whitmore (Bill Pullman)- Independence Day
We've already had a President on the list that was involved with an alien invasion, but President Whitmore handled it the exact opposite from President Dale.  Jack Nicholson may have preferred to allow the aliens to "come in peace," but all that ended up doing was get him killed.  Bill Pullman hopped into a flight suit to fly a jet to take them down himself (Fun fact: President Bush dressed up in a flight suit hoping to do the exact same thing to the Middle East before realizing the mission was not, in fact, accomplished).  President Whitmore also has one of the best monologues in summer blockbuster history: "The Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: "We will not go quietly into the night!" We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate... OUR INDEPENDENCE DAY!!!"

#1- President James Marshall (Harrison Ford)- Air Force One
The greatest American President since... Well, ever!  I'm sure the others could have come close if they had dropped such an ass-kicking on their opponents, but even then... Does Washington screaming "Wheres my family?!?" at the Brits have the same effect? Certainly not. President Marshall is a TRUE American hero (I'm looking at YOU Lincoln, Roosevelt, Jefferson, other Roosevelt, and Kennedy!).  And really... is there any other quote that I can pick to end this? "GET OFF MY PLANE!"

Throwback Thursdays: The Goonies-R-Good Enough

When i started this blog (A whopping three days ago! Has it already been that long?) I wanted to talk about things I found incredible. Of course, things on the present can be incredible, and you can certainly get excited about things that have potential to be incredible in the future... But we can't forget the past! So, I'm devoting every Thursday to something incredible from the past. And this week's feature is... The Goonies!

I first saw this flick at a birthday party sleepover when I was a wee lad of, oh, we'll say seven or eight. Creepy Crawlers were in fashion (Remember? "They're snuggy, they're buggy, you can embarrass your Dad! You can be a little creep without being bad!") I remember it from the very beginning... Nothing but silence as the camera pulled back from a skull to reveal it as the dot in the "i" of the logo.  Then I was immediately drawn in by the Fratellis: A criminal family that manages to be a fantastic mix of humorous, threatening, and slightly scary at the same time (Anne Ramsey (Mama Fratelli) still haunts my dreams from every now and again.)  After one of my favorite opening credits sequences of all time (and one of John Williams great lost theme songs), we're introduced to the Goonies themselves.  Mikey, Chunk, Mouth, Data, and Brand.  You could immediately connect with these kids, because they were essentially you and your friends. And on top of that, they got to go on the adventure that you always DREAMED about when you were a kid.  I think that's why its such an incredible and timeless movie... You got to live vicariously through these kids that you could see yourselves as.  And along the way we meet Sloth... For those of you who haven't seen this flick, Sloth is a Fratelli as well, though we was dropped ("Only dropped once! Ok, maybe twice...") as a baby which resulted in physical deformation and mental disabilities. He exists at first as something to be frightened of... His family has him chained to the wall in the basement of their hideout, and he towers over our heroes as a monster.  But as the story progresses, we find that he is very much the gentile giant, and ends up becoming a loved character and arguably one of the most memorable and quoted characters of all time. 

Richard Donner takes us on an exciting, terrifying, and fun adventure into the secret caves below Astoria, Oregon, where famed pirate One-Eyed Willie hid his treasure as a last act of defiance against the British Military that pursues him.  The Goonies are forced to navigate a series of treacherous traps and pitfalls all while racing to stay ahead of the Fratellis.  This movie is one of my absolute favorites, and will always have a place on my DVD shelves as time passes.  If its not considered a classic already, it needs to be.

And now, I give you... The Truffle Shuffle!

Slackers! -or- The 100 Greatest Insults in Film

Hey.

So, I'm sorry I let you down. I didn't mean to. I just got busy and... and I fell asleep when I got home. I didn't mean to forget that I had plans with you Blog. And I know there isn't much I can say right at this point... But I hope I can make things better by posting this video in addition to another Blog I'll write as soon as I'm done with this one. I hope you'll forgive me.

-Ian

Ok, now that THAT'S over with... I present the 100 greatest insults in all of film. Spanning generations, Harry Hanrahan has compiled the best and most memorable insults, comebacks, and smack talk Hollywood has produced.  NOT SAFE FOR WORK PEOPLE! There's plenty of cursing and offensive language... Enjoy!

Life Is Just A Fantasy

Bobby Diesel. Thuggy D. Bobby Light. Bolt Speedman. Call Rob Dyrdek what you will, but no matter what label you attach, the man is an entertainer. The skateboarder turned entrepreneur manages to find entertainment everywhere. Whether he's hanging out with John Mayer, terrorizing his mother, shooting his American Gladiator tennis ball gun, or building a new safe place for kids to skate, Rob Dyrdek always finds time to make you smile. Sure, he can be a bit much from time to time, but that's mostly due to his Monster Energy Drink sponsorship. You wouldn't be bouncing off the walls 24/7 if you had that? Doubtful.

After a very successful first two seasons, where we were exposed to pranks (indoor port-o-potty anyone?), the life and death of Timmy the Test Dummy (and meeting his replacement, Tina), and a slew of adventures in and around LA, Fantasy Factory is returning for a third season July 12th. We've been promised the same number of episodes as seasons 1 and 2 combined, and folks, it looks like it's gonna be a good one. The factory looks better than ever, and all sorts of crazy nonsense looks to be occurring, including, but not limited to: a trebuchet (and possibly the death of Tina?), more rally car exploits, and Rob and his young cousin Drama meandering around LA in old man suits. Life is just a fantasy! What's yours?